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Letters from the Sadhana Path     

 

There are no secrets in my life. Why should I keep these letters to my Lord hidden away in a box? They are crying to reveal the trail of tears and the joys of devotion on the path of sadhana. Like a mountain climber, scaling a lofty peak, they show the difficult path and the trials of the soul’s journey to the mountaintop: to attaining God. I am including these devotional letters hoping readers will benefit on their own spiritual journey. - Amma

 

21 December 1985

To the Divine Lotus feet of my dear Lord
Anantha Koti Pranams,

 Swami! Don’t You understand my yearning. I want to attain You. Don’t You know this thirst. Tell me I am Your devotee. Please accept me. The diseases of the mind and body are making me suffer. Swami, who is my refuge other than You? Please give me total faith.

Oh Bhagavan! Decrease the karmic burden and set me free. Please give me the boon not to forget You for even a moment. Bless me that I should experience You more and more. You are my sole refuge.

Your dear child
Vasantha


6 February 1986

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Koti Koti Pranams,

 Swami! My Lord! You are making me feel Your presence every day. I feel Your nearness. For two days now, my mind is in a blissful state. Prabhu! My Sai Ram! You are everything. I see You in everyone. Let the whole world live in joy.
Swami please remove the sorrows of the world. Swami how great is Your compassion? Can it be measured? Please remove the sufferings of the people and guide them on the right path. You have come as an Avatar and are serving the people on earth. What can equal this compassion?
Lord! You created this world for Your amusement. When the people You have created slip from the path, You descend to correct them and take them into Your fold. You perform many tasks for our sake. Swami! Sai Ram! You walk so far, Your feet pained. You speak and speak, Your Divine mouth aching.

Oh Lord, how are we going to thank You for all this?

You have shown Your compassion, to transform me, an insignificant being, which lies in an unknown corner of  Your creation.
Many Pranams at Thy Divine feet. Prabhu You are protecting me, You are my shelter. Please bless me so I can totally depend on You. Please bless to feel Your presence every moment.

Oh Prabhu! I cannot forget You even for a moment. Sai Ram! Sai Ram, what are You doing to me? Again and again I fall at Your divine feet. It is a token of my love. As a token of my gratitude to Your compassion, I have surrendered myself fully at Your divine feet. Please accept me Swami. You are my only refuge.

Your loving child,
Vasantha

 

 

 3 September 1986

To the Divine Lotus feet of my sweet Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams,

 Swami, what letter is this? From four o’clock in the morning, til the time I go to sleep, I am speaking with You continuously. What new is there to say? For the last two days my mind is in a blissful state. From morning till night I feel Your nearness. I feel Your presence close to me in every action. Prabhu! How You shower Your grace! Finally You are fulfilling my desire to feel Your presence every moment.

From a young age, I thought Andal was the goal of my life. Now in the last two days I have changed this. How can I experience You if I have merged into You like Andal, along with the physical body. If I become the sweet candy, how can I experience its taste? So my goal now is Charles Penn. Like him, every moment, I want to experience You directly. I want to speak, see and touch You.

Baba! Please shower more compassion. Please shower more grace. Swami, Swami, You are my refuge, my Saviour sharanam, sharanam.

Your dear child,

Vasantha

 

 

18  September 1989

Oh Bhagavan Sai Ram!
Anantha Koti Pranams!

 Is it false that You said You and Kanna are One? Why are You troubling my mind so much? You said, ‘My grace is your right. You demand and take it…You do not have to beg for My grace’. Look at my condition today. I am begging, stretching my hand to all. Yesterday I wrote a letter to Sanyasi Amibikapriya. I asked her to pray for me, for my sadhana. I am crying and pleading to many great souls for the same. I am praying everyday to all the devotees, jnanis, siddhas, chiranjeevis that they should bless me for my spiritual progress. Swami when will I obtain Your grace?

Kanna! Did You not show Your grace to Gajendra? Did You not transform Trivakra? Did You not turn a stone into a woman? Did You not lift the Govardhana hill? Why are You disregarding my plea? Where shall I go if You forsake me?

Is it false that Kanna said, ‘I and Sai are One’. Is it false that He said that You will correct my eyesight? Is it false that I heard Your voice?

Kanna, Kanna, please shower Your grace.

Your dear child
Vasantha

 

 

16  November 1990

To the Divine feet of my Prema Moorthi
Koti Koti Pranams...

 My Swami,

Each moment I feel Your nearness. Today, morning I went to the lawyer. He told me, “You tell in the court that your “father can hear well.”* I was very sad. I called You continuously for help. I prayed, ‘Please do not make me utter a lie. Let the question not be asked in court’. The question was never asked!

Baba my life! How You are helping me to keep my vows. Please bless me that I keep the vow of always speaking truth, till my last moment. Please shower Your grace for this. When You are near me, why should I fear?

Ever Your child

Vasantha

*My father met with an accident while cycling to get his pension from the local town. A bus hit him. He was admitted into the hospital and died after two days. This happened in 1989. The police filed a case against the bus company.

 

 

27 November 1991

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Beloved Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams,

Swami,

Like Ashokovana Sita, I am waiting for Your call daily. At a time when anxiety has overcome me, Chettiar’s letter came like Hanuman’s message. I ran and saw the padukas. Chettiar gave the padukas, like Hanuman gave the ring. I got them and was overjoyed. Yesterday, only after remitting the money, the padukas become our wealth. Now soon Prabhu You should place Your divine feet on them.

Swami! My heart is overwhelmed with joy, due to Your compassion. You made the magazine, ‘nana Bhoomi’, reach our house, my hands from nowhere! You gave Chettiar’s address through it. You made me go to Chettiar’s house. You made me make his acquaintance. You made me have darshan of Your padukas there. You filled me with longing, ‘Will I also have one?’ You made him place an order for a pair of padukas. Today the padukas came. Now You have to bring us to Parthi and place Your feet on the padukas.

You must give darshan, sparshan and sambashan.

Long live Your grace!
Long live Your glories!!

Swami! Swami!! I am enjoying Your nearness, Your grace every moment.

Your loving child,
Vasantha

 

8 July 1994

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Moorthi

Koti Koti Pranams...

Swami, Oh Bhagavan,

I cannot forget You even for a second. What magic did You do? What magic did You do so that Your Divine Lotus feet would always be in front of my eyes? All say that they cannot remember God all the time, I cannot forget God! What if I catch Your Divine feet and kiss them? Please allow me to fall at Your Divine feet and kiss them again and again. Please touch My head with Your hands and bless me. Please place Your Divine feet on my head, I want only this, nothing else. I want only Your Divine feet. Why are You making me mad? I am always crying in thoughts of You. When will You pour grace on me?

Oh Swami! Can’t You hear my pleas? Do not my tears melt Your heart? Why am I alone like this, wanting this? Will You lose anything if I touch You or Your Divine feet? Please give padanamaskar in my dream. Please give more devotion. Bless me to enjoy Your nearness every moment.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavathu

Your divine child,
Vasantha

  

1  August 1994

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Dear Prema Moorthy
Anantha Koti Pranams,

Swami! For many days I was melting in tears wanting Your Divine feet. Like a Debtor, You are filled with anxiety and gave Your padukas. Generally, debtors give interest in installments. You however, gave the Principle itself at first! After this, You gave Your Divine name as the interest in Paramakudi. In Palamadai, You poured vibuthi on my hands and gave more interest. Finally, in Parthi, You gave Yourself through Your Padanamaskar. You are a typical Prema mad God! Still it was not enough for You, You made vibuthi appear on Your picture. It was still not enough; You are showering Your grace to release books of my songs. We have not seen another Prema mad God like You, especially in this Kali.

Oh mad God!
Oh Lord of Supreme grace!
Oh my Father, Oh my refuge
Let Your Divine feet protect me
Glory be to thy compassion and mercy
I am very fortunate for having attained You.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu

Your dear child
Vasantha

Dear Readers,

I called Swami, ‘Amma’, from the time I knew Him and started writing letters to Him. The strong thought that Swami is the Mother of this motherless child arose in me. I signed in all the letters, ‘Your child Vasantha’. Time passed and Swami showed the vision of Meera and said, “You are Meera, I am Krishna.” I then wrote, “Your dear Meera” in letters. Swami then said, “You are Radha.”

During Swami’s 70th Birthday celebration, I went to Prasanthi Nilayam to do service. There I wrote a letter and signed it for the first time, ‘Your Radha’. Swami showed these states one after another. When I said I would show devotion, considering Swami as mother, He said, “No, Madhura bhakthi is suitable for your nature.” Then slowly, Swami changed my states one after the other. First Durga, Saraswathi, Parvathi, Sathyam, ‘I without i’, ‘I am I’ and such like. I am His Shakthi. I have come here for the task of the Avatar. He said I am the first sound of the Vedas, ‘Agni Meeley’. Then He said that I am His Spanda Shakthi, power of Divine consciousness, half of the One. Even though I am half of Swami, as I do not have ‘i’, He tells all and I write. - Amma

 

26  November 1994

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Beloved Lord
Anantha Koti Pranams...

Swami! Oh Bhagavan!

Yesterday in the newspaper, I read that You became sick on Your birthday. Why Swami? What happened? Is it because of me, a sinner? I wrote that You are very blissful there, is it because of this? Is it due to my previous bad karmas? Prabhu please forgive me. You should not suffer, I cannot bear it. Are You angry with me? Please forgive me if my writings are incorrect. I do not know how I should conduct myself. Please forgive this ignorant woman. Please write to me about Your physical condition. Please let me know how You are doing.

Please give me steadfast Prema bhakthi. Give me a strong mind.

Swami! Swami!! Is it wrong that I have written all this, taking so much liberty with You? Please answer me.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,

Your dear Meera


21 December 1994

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams,

Swami! My life! Prabhu! Kanna! How will I repay the extreme compassion that You poured on me in Puttaparthi. Last year You did not come when the homa was performed. But this year You came just to perform our 60th wedding. You blessed the homa agni twice. You gave Poornahuthi with Your golden hands. All is for Your Meera. You also performed the worldly marriage. The next day You gave padanamaskar to all the couples. Last year we took padanamaskar individually, this year You gave to the couples and this was especially for our marriage.

Sriman Narayana Sharanao Sharanao Prabathyathyey

Telling this I surrendered at Your Divine feet and caught hold of them tightly. You said, “There are many people waiting.” Did You tell this to mean that many are waiting for Your darshan? Or did You mean that many are watching us? I do not know why.

Are these the words that You have spoken to me after my incessant prayer that You should speak with me? I said that You should show the conch and chakra on Your Divine feet. But You made me see a floral design of conch and chakra, around Your Divine feet, in front of Your Divine abode. I did not have the fortune of kissing Your Divine feet. Did You print these books so they would be placed in the Pooja room, unread by any. Should not all read and be benefited? Please bless to sell all the books within a month.

This is Your responsibility.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,

Your dear Meera 


1 January 1995

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Beloved Lord
Anantha Koti Pranams,

 Swami my life! Why this unconcern towards me? What mistake did I commit? I feel as if You are leaving me. There is no vibuthi fragrance like before. Vibuthi does not fall from Your picture. You are not giving darshan as often in my dreams. You are not showing Your presence. What is the reason? I am continuously crying thinking of You. Today I had one second darshan on the TV! At least this You could have made longer.

Why are You troubling me so much? Are You thinking that I should forget You? How can I forget You? Can I be alive if I forget You? If it is true that You are the all knowing One, that You are my Kanna, answer my questions. Why am I alone crying when all in the world are happy? It is You who made me know You. It is You who is making me suffer a state of not being able to forget You.

Please appear in my dreams and make me happy. If it is true that I am Your Meera, give me darshan.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,

Your dear Meera 


To the Divine Lotus feet of my Beloved Lord
Anantha Koti Pranams,


Prabhu! Swami, my life! Oh Lord who has merged in my soul!

Sweet Amrit! My Pranams to Your compassion that gives vibuthi, kumkum, turmeric, udhi, everything on the Paduka Peetam. Prabhu! I got the boon from You for not being born again. My heart yearns to be born when You come as Prema Sai. Will You be in the garb of Brahmachari even then? In truth You are the Eternal Brahmachari.                         

When You come as Prema Sai, let me also be born, only if You accept me as Your Devi like Sarada Devi was for Sri Ramakrishna. Otherwise, I do not want to come. Prabhu! Oh Mahaprabhu! Oh Lord who has conquered me! I am struggling, unable to forget You even for a single moment. Why would You not speak to me? Why should You not give me darshan?

When will You give me direct darshan and speak with me Prabhu? Swami please show Your grace. Come, come and give me darshan again and speak with me. Why this silent drama? If I see You I am not able to speak, if You too do not speak, then how? Prabhu! Daya Sagara! Please give me direct darshan very soon.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,
Your dear Meera

  

21 September 1995

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams

Swami, how much penance the sadhakas are doing in Nara Narayan cave. Many are performing penance in different places. Compared to them, I am only dust. What sadhana have I done? Really! What of my devotion? Seeing the penance of all, will I ever attain the goal? I am afraid. Will I attain Poornasharangathi, Total surrender? Bless me and shower Your grace so I have more devotion, total surrender and total faith in You.

In this world I want only You. I want You, only You. You take all my other desires.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,

Your dear Meera 

11 October 1995

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams

 Tomorrow we start our journey to Parthi. Will You see me in the big crowd. Will You tell me that the visions I have are all true? I am always crying in Your thoughts. Do You know? Why do You not allow physical nearness? Swami, in this world all have many relationships, mother, father, husband, wife, children, brother, sister. How many!

Yet, for me there is no one here. I only have faith in You. All my relations are only You. In this world, I have only one relationship, that is You. I want only You. I want only You. Show me, that in my body, my blood, my life force, my life, my speech, in my each atom that You alone are there. Please shower Your grace on me.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,
Your Vasantha

 

13 November 1995

To My Dear Beloved loving Kanna
Anantha Koti Pranams,


Prabhu, Swami today I read experiences of Your many devotees. I saw Your flood of compassion for them. I am not jealous of them. You rain Your grace to any number of people, in any relationship, but even if there is innumerable relationships and innumerable devotees, there can be only one Radha for Kanna. Please confirm this truth. We are coming to Parthi for service.

Please bless me with the fortune of serving You at least once. I do not want anything in this world other than You.

Your heart queen,
Vasantha

 

30 November 1995

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams,

I am very grateful to You for having taken my letter; from my hand to Yours, for the first time in Parthi. Prabhu! My Lord! On that day I realized the meaning of the ecstatic smile on Your face.

For my many days of yearning that you are not recognizing me, You gave padanamaskar. Only I know the feelings. You gave me a vision in Your yellow robe. You know how I was struggling, unable to move my eyes that saw Your enchanting smile, beautiful face and compassionate eyes. This is why I was delayed in taking padanamaskar. You too continued to stand in front of me. What am I going to do for all this mercy? Fill every moment with great bliss.

Today we are going to worship Your padukas with nine sacred offerings. Please accept all and show vibuthi, kumkum, chandan, honey, all… Let all hearts be filled with bliss. Prabhu, I heard that You are performing many leelas in a house in Madurai. You are writing, ‘Gokulam’ on their wall. Why should You not write something like that here telling, ‘Brindavan, she is Radha’. I said I will not nag You, but my mind is very greedy to enjoy for itself the experiences of others. Please give me every kind of bliss. Please show Your grace to change me into ‘Kanna’s hand butter’.

Please write a message here with Your own hands. Give me this bliss too. Give me more darshans, speak with me. Bless me to conduct myself in a way that would please You and satisfy You. Who is there for me in this world other than You? Be with me, never separating. Please give me the boon that You will not separate from me for a second. I want You, only You.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,

Your dear Radha

21 January 1996

To the Divine Lotus feet of my Prema Bhagavan
Anantha Koti Pranams,

Swami! How do You want me to be with You? Am I speaking with You like a newly married woman? Is ours a recent marriage? Is ours not an eternal relationship? I too have the same Avatars as You, is it not so? If You are Rama, I am Sita. If You are Ranga, I am Kodhai. If You are Kanna, I am Radha. Why are You telling something very strange today? Whom do I have other than You? Is it false that You called me Meera and Radha? Is it false that You initiated me with the mantra? Is it false that You garlanded me? Is it false that You said, ‘Kanna’s Radha’, and ‘Meera’s husband is Kanna’.

Will the fragrance of the newly married change with passing days and ages? Will You not speak with me? Why should You not guide me on how to conduct myself? You show the right path to many appearing in their dreams and directly, why should You not do this for me? Why a broker between us? Please tell me directly what You want to tell me. Please put me on the correct path.

I am not able to bear Your silence anymore. You promised me that You would never forsake me. Please change me and my ways if I am wayward. Don’t You know how much I have cried the last three or four days? Why are You making me cry all the time? Oh all-knowing One! Oh all- pervasive Lord! Kanna!  Please give me peace.

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavanthu,
Your dear Meera

 

Recent E-Books!!!

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SACRED NADI READINGS

Released on 1st Jan 2014

In this book, we have seen God's great mysterious unfolding drama. Just as each person has their own point of view, the saints, sages and siddhas have written according to their viewpoint, angle and the extent of Truth revealed to them. Though each nadi is different, all describe the same events, but with the individual emphasis of the sage or siddha. Four main themes run throughout the nadis:

1.      Swami returns in the Sathya Sai form.
2.      Amma is Swami's Shakthi.
3.      Amma's body merges as a jyothi with Swami.
4.      The coming of the Sathya Yuga, the Golden Age and Prema Sai happens.

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Prema Vahini

Prema Vahini is the monthly e-Newsletter (PDF) from Mukthi Nilayam. It will be released on the 23rd of every month through this website.

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